Family Heirlooms, or how a little red cup will outlive us all

A few weeks ago I was traveling home with my brother and his family after a small family get together in Montana, and we stopped by my parents’ house to pick up some things they had for us. We didn’t know it at the time, but they were preparing to hand off some family heirlooms. One item was particularly special: the “Charles cup”: a crystal-based glass that was made to commemorate my paternal grandfather’s eldest brother.  

 As we sat around discussing the cup and the story behind it, three generations of Hodgens were able to hear about and remember those that came before us. It was informal, but still a fun and special way that we were able to connect with each other and our family history.  Here’s the story behind the cup:

Charles (middle), my grandfather Marion (left) and their younger brother James (Right)

My grandfather Marion Hodgen was born in 1908 in California, the third of six children. Charles, the eldest of the family, was four years older than him and often took the brunt of their father’s harsh treatment, which resulted in young Marion hero worshipping his older brother. When Charles was 16, he contracted diphtheria during a large outbreak. When an overworked country doctor came to check on Charles, he turned the boy on his side, causing him to suffocate on the fluid in his lungs and die. 

The Hodgen family at Charles' burial

The family was devastated, especially the mother and Marion. Not only had he lost his friend, brother, and protector, but Marion had to take on the responsibilities of being the oldest boy, which included leaving school and performing manual labor to supplement the family income at age 12.

As a memorial to the lost son, a cup was made with his name on it that was displayed in their home for years. Marion inherited the cup, and decided he wanted it passed down to the oldest Hodgen male of each generation, and that's what we did. Something that meant so much to a grieving family a hundred years ago is still being cherished, and the original owners are still remembered.

The Hodgen family a few years before Charles' death.
The family was living in California doing agricultural work, and this is them in front of an almond orchard. 

I’m glad I was able to be a part of the passing-along of the “Charles cup” even though it wasn’t meant for me, because I was able to learn more about my grandfather who died when I was 12, and understand more about his family and where he came from. 

Tips 

While the “Charles cup” is extremely special to our family, it’s not because of the monetary value, but because of the emotional and symbolic value of it. If you don’t already have family artifacts that are being passed down, start your own! Here are some ideas:

• Is there something in your own life that represents a special person or event that you can share with others? A lot of times the things that are passed down in a family are special because of what they meant to the owner or how much they were loved. Other things that we’ve passed down in our family include a beloved punch bowl, a pair of bird figurines, a modest set of silver, a Christmas cactus, and long-used furniture. The most important part of the item being passed down is the memories and meaning attached to it.
• Are you finding a shortage of meaningful items that you could pass down? You can always create something. Journals are obviously very important in transferring family stories, but artwork, creative writing, letters, etc., can also be invaluable. Anything that will help future generations understand who you were will work. My grandmother, Marion’s wife Betty, was an avid poet in her life and often shared her poems with us. When she died, someone created a bound copy of poems she wrote and now as an adult I’m able to read them and get a sense of who my grandmother was in a way that I didn’t as a child.

 

Family heirlooms are a great way to bring the generations closer together, whether it’s something you’re inheriting or choosing to pass along. The key is to pass along memories as well to create family bonds that span the decades. 

What heirlooms are in your family and what are the stories behind them? Do you have other ideas of things that can become heirlooms? Please share in the comments section!